Intro to "The Religion"

I told Annie I would write about this.  So, here is a start.  Annonymous, as it must be, for safety and sanity and family that still "belongs".

This time of year has always been difficult for me.  When I was young this was “preps” time.  “Preps”, what’s that you may ask?  Well, for every young woman who was one of the friends, this was a time of inner reflection and lots of hard work.  This was a time to bake and cook and clean and sew, all for the good of the friends.  I grew up speaking a foreign language, the language of the professing.  The language of the what, you ask?  See, I told you it was a different language.  We had workers and laborers; professing and non-professing; the friends and the world; the children of God and the children of man. 

I have the desire to prepare.  That is what “preps” was all about, preparing for the upcoming convention.  Okay, that’s another word that is from the Language.  Convention, it’s a four day long religious gathering where you eat, sleep and listen to the word of God.  You share everything you have and wear the best you’ve got.  Convention was like the beginning of your spiritual year.  Those who “profess” are those who have joined the church.  What church, you may ask.  Well, they don’t have a name.  They don’t claim to belong to any organized anything, but there are millions of “friends” around the world and they all speak the same language. 

Sometimes you run into someone who looks like they may be one of them, so you walk up to them and ask them which convention they attend or where Sunday morning meeting is in the area.  When they answer you and tell you they go to Manhattan or Boring or Ronan Convention or they attend Sunday morning meeting at John and Emma Stark’s house or Pat and Jason Derring….regardless of whether you know them, you know these people are one of the “friends”.

The men are clean cut and look like rather normal.  It’s the women that stand out from “the world”.  The women all have long hair and wear dresses nearly 100% of the time.  They don’t wear any make-up and many of them make their own clothes, or at least they did when I was young.  What’s wrong with that, you may ask?  Nothing, nothing is wrong with that.  But nothing is right with it either.  If it were personal choice, then that would be different.  It’s the fact that we were looked down upon if we ever cut our hair, wore make-up, pants, went to movies, dated someone who didn’t  “profess” or heaven forbid, married someone who was “on the outside”.

 I don't "profess" anymore.  I no longer belong.  I left when I was 28.  That was a really big year for me.  I left my husband, who was "professing" and I left my job.  I left my house, my religion and my family.  I took my children, put them in the back seat of the car with clothes in the trunk and left.  I left my life.  I left everything I knew.  I left my belief structure, my friends, my "belonging", my everything and stepped out to find "me".  I longed to be free to be me.  It has been a very difficult trip, but I promise, I will try to tell you everything.  I will be as vulnerable as I possibly can be.  But I must not tell you who I am.  For that, I am sorry.